


Sand in my sweater

by ManiLea



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Trinity (Comics)
Genre: Emotional Infidelity, F/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-20 19:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13724895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManiLea/pseuds/ManiLea
Summary: Thirty-seven years is a long time. Some people are married for less.Returning home from fighting the Hordes of Gehenna forces Bruce and Diana to confront the reality of their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The relevant comics are Batman Rebirth #40 and Trinity Rebirth #1. 
> 
> The title and the mood are taken from the song i hate u, i love u by gnash ft. Olivia O'brien.
> 
> For expectation's sake, this isn't a happily-ever-after fic.

The JL communicator beeped in Diana’s earpiece. A private channel opened: Batman.

“What now, Bruce?”

“Barry Allen is going to be uncontactable for some days. If we don’t hear from him within a week, he’s probably in big trouble.”

“Yes. He told me himself.” 

She smiled, looking out through the full glass windows of her apartment to the ocean. The previous day he had called especially to tell her that a league meeting that had been postponed for a fortnight was also likely to be cancelled. The day before that he had sent her a picture of a pair of manacles to confirm they were the craft of Hephaetus. She knew he had five different ways of answering that for himself.

“You know, I finally saw Jumpa yesterday.”

“Hm. How is she?”

“Very well. I don’t believe she missed me one bit.”

“You’ll have to introduce me sometime.”

“I don’t know. She’s rather wary of men.” 

“I’ll be good.”

Diana bit her lip. _Be good_. That was what she had made him promise. In that week since they had last seen each other on the rooftops of Gotham, she had closed her eyes so many times to see the flames in the depths of his eyes, to smell the ash and to feel his breath so close to hers...

The week since they had last seen each other would have been hundreds of years in Gehenna.

“Actually, I wanted to get an update on sightings of Swamp Thing for a case I’m working on and thought you might be interested too. I’ve transferred the data from the watchtower to my own computer. If you want, you can come here and take a look.”

No, she would not go to Gotham again. It had been a mistake. It was intrusive, like Clark diving to Atlantis or Barry turning up in Themyscira. Moreover, Selina Kyle had made her message clear to Diana in her coldness. _Stay away from us_.

“I’ll go to the watchtower if I need them,” There was no response, but the line was still open. She said gently, her voice cracking at the start, “Thirty-seven years is a long time.”

“Nothing here has changed,” came the curt reply. “Except that my stomach has forgotten how to process baked goods.”

Diana chuckled. “There’s nothing quite like roasted tentacle every day.”

“I miss it.”

I miss you, thought Diana, suddenly unable to bring herself to speak. It had been hell – a wasteland of monsters – but he had been by her side every day, she had watched him sleep, they had shared every meal and scraped blood and grime from each other’s hair. Thirty-seven years. Some people were married for less.

He was getting married. They had to stop this – they had to bring themselves back to reality.

She had been open with Steve about her time with the Hordes of Gehenna and he had implicitly trusted her, but she had not been able to confess to the emotional impact of those ghost years. It was a betrayal to herself as well as Steve. She dealt in the truth.

That she loved Steve was true. He was so human – steady and warm and brave. It was also true that Bruce was an enigmatic force at the centre of her universe.

“Wild boar has a similar taste.”

“Yeah? There’s some over at the Kent farm. Clark iced up his basement to store that one you brought for the dinner party. I bet they haven’t touched it.”

“Their loss.”

“You’ll meet me there?”

If they were going to see each other again, the Kent farm was the sanest place. Lois had asked them to treat it as a second home. It was normality, reality and they would be among friends. 

“Yes.”


	2. Chapter 2

Damian raced ahead of Bruce, up the dirt path to the farmhouse. Diana had already arrived and was waiting for them on the porch with Clark, Lois and Jonathon. It was curious how unearthly she looked even when wearing a buttoned blouse and full-length skirt, while next to her Clark was every part the country bumpkin.

Damian tackled his friend, and Jonathon sent him onto the grass with a light push.

“No monster meat here, I’m afraid,” said Clark, clasping Bruce’s shoulder. “But I hope we don’t disappoint.”

Bruce rolled his eyes and Diana caught his gaze with a smile. 

“The grill is up the top of the shed, Clark,” said Lois. She beckoned to Bruce and Diana. “Come in for a drink.”

In the kitchen, Lois poured out three glasses of white wine and dug into a deep drawer for something for the boys. Out of the corner of his eye, Bruce saw his son’s little arm shoot out for the stem of his wine glass and Bruce narrowly snatched it up first.

“Not for you.”

Damian pouted as Lois handed him an orange juice box.

Bruce slipped his hand into the inside of his jacket and drew out two envelopes. He gave one to Lois. “Since I’m here…”

Lois’ eyes widened slightly. “Your wedding invitation.”

“It’ll be very small.” He laid the other on the table in front of Diana without looking at her.

“Your children must be excited?” said Lois.

“Selina stabbed my mum in the back,” said Damian through a slurp of orange juice.

Lois raised her eyebrows at Bruce and he shrugged. “They’ll adjust.”

“I’ll start preparing the boar,” said Diana suddenly, getting to her feet. There was a hardness in her eyes that had not been there minutes ago. “Unless you would like to do the honours?”

“No – by all means,” replied Lois. She went to show Diana the way to the refrigerated basement.

It was callous of him. In the past week Bruce had felt like he’d been missing an arm. Every time he had turned to his left or his right he had half expected to see her next to him, sword raised above her head, grime smeared over her beautiful face and fearlessness in her eyes. But of all the things he wanted to say, none of them seemed to have a place in his friends’ sunny farmhouse.

_There’s no one I’d rather fight everlasting demon hoards with than you._

_Thank you for making sure I didn’t fuck up my relationship._

_Part of me still wishes that I had._

_But not the part that you’d like._

Out in the front yard, a rusty grill was smoking. Clark and Jonathon had set up a table and four chairs for the adults and a picnic mat for the children.

Diana came out carrying the boar on one shoulder. With a wrench, she tore the head from the body, dumped the body onto the grass and proceeded to skin the body with a large knife. Jonathon stood nearby with his mouth open, and Clark was looking around nervously, hoping that none of his neighbours would walk past.

Behind Bruce, there was a soft creak of wood. Damian launched himself off the porch railings to Diana, hand outstreched for the knife. Without looking up, Diana caught his arm with her free hand and tossed him to one side. Damian landed on his feet.

“Stand and fight, coward!”

Diana sighed and dropped the knife. She stood and rolled up her sleeves to reveal her gauntlets. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

As Damian dived at Diana’s legs with a kick, Bruce took up the knife and carried on her work. She never did try to save the skin. It was a waste of good bacon and crispy bits in his view, and it was something they had quarrelled over often in their thirty-seven years.

He kept an ear on the grunts and thuds behind him, not because he was worried but because it was a kind of music to him. He could match each sound from each person to a movement. Diana did not make the mistake of underestimating Damian; still it was hardly child’s play.

Clark took the animal by the legs and held it from a short height to make it easier for Bruce to slice it open. As he pulled out the entrails and the other organs, he could hear that Damian was being forced to back down.

“Ahhh!”

Diana had changed her attack in a split second and Damian had failed to anticipate it. She had him pinned to the ground on his front.

“I heard you use a predictable sequence of blocks.”

“My father has betrayed me!”

“More the reason for you to improve,” remarked Bruce.

The shoulder cuts went on the grill and Clark, wearing an apron, stood over them with a pair of tongs. Diana remarked that he only needed a chef’s hat to complete the look and Clark cheerily replied that he owned one, but it was too hot for linen hats.

The children were called to eat. Diana took a turn at the barbecue while Clark knocked together a salad from spinach leaves and radishes from his own vegetable patch. Lois brought out the drinks and the four of them took their seats for a platter piled high with pork joints.

“How does this compare to the demon meat?” asked Diana.

“It’s not the same, but it’s good.”

“It’s because it’s not fresh,” She gave Clark a wicked grin. “But thanks for saving it for us.”

“Right, not like I could have used that basement space for anything else.”

They had barely made a dent in the platter before Damian and Jonathon dragged Diana to her feet to teach them how to deflect bullets with their arms. She was certainly the highlight of the day – a generous-hearted, witty warrior was a vast improvement on their stuffy dads. 

“Diana, when are you going to have a daughter? We’ll need her for our Trinity when we’re older.”

“I’ll be on your team, Robin. I’m not going anywhere.”

“We’ve got Wonder Woman on our team!” cried Jon and high-fived Damian.

Clark grinned across the table at Bruce. Bruce didn’t smile back. 

The timeline ran through his mind: she would outlive his children and grandchildren, and in that one small window that was his dammed mortal life, he had thrown away his one chance to kiss her. There was a reason for it, he reminded himself. But perhaps it didn’t have to be all or nothing with her. Perhaps just once –

He had already made a promise to Selina. And he had made a promise to Diana.

Lois came from the house carrying a steaming pie in a plastic tray and put it on the table. “It’s banoffee. I’m not even going to try to pretend I made it myself.”

“You don’t have to. We came without notice,” said Diana.

Lois laid a hand on Diana’s arm. “I’m glad. This is family, after all.” 

Bruce slipped his slice of pie under the table and held it out to Damian, who swiped it immediately and raced off stuffing handfuls of cream and pastry into his face.

“Surely you’re not going to give up cake forever, Bruce?” asked Diana. She lifted the remaining chunk of her slice. “Come on, have one bite.”

He leant forward, eyes locked on her and she pushed the piece into his mouth. It crumbled and her fingers were on his lips, on his tongue. He licked. His heart was pounding and he was aware that Clark could hear it. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up.

“Is there any more wine?”

“Yes, in the kitchen.” Lois was about to get up, but Bruce held out a hand to stop her and went himself.

He was pouring himself a glass when he heard Diana come in behind him.

“I don’t understand why you wanted to meet me here when you’ve been doing your best to ignore me.”

“I haven’t been ignoring you. That’s impossible. I hear everything you say before you say it. I sense everything you do before you do it. You’re like an extension of myself. I know you’re also regretting that pie, because you can’t stomach it either.”

Diana laughed softly, but it sounded almost like a cry. He turned to face her. His fingers wound into her hair, his palm caressed her cheek. She closed her eyes tight.

“Bruce. Don’t.”

His hand dropped to his side. “You had to make it a fucking eternal vow.”

“It was your idea – you spelled out why we shouldn’t be together before you were even with Selina. I made my peace with that.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t jumped into bed with the first man you met.”

Her hands balled into fists and for half a second she was going to pummel him. Then she breathed out heavily. “Just when I think you can’t sink any lower.” 

He turned to leave but she grabbed his arm.

“Here’s how it is going to be. We are not going to call each other about anything outside of our work. We are not going to meet casually, here or anywhere else. We are not going to discuss those thirty-seven years ever again. Next time you can take your wife in my place. She seems most capable,” Diana pushed the invitation card across the table to him. “Pass my regrets on to Selina.”

They went outside and Clark was standing there, his face full of pity. He had heard and felt everything.

Diana hugged him and Lois goodbye, mentioning that Steve would be expecting her, and soared into the sky. Bruce sipped his drink, half watching the fast-disappearing speck of her and half watching nothing.

Clark walked up to the porch to stand by his side.

“A long time ago, before Jonathon was born, I had a dream of the future. It was everything that I wanted. Lois was president and we had a wonderful daughter called Lara. Diana was the UN Secretary General. And she was married to you. I think I remember it so well because it’s the happiest I’ve ever seen you.”

Bruce’s head slowly turned to him. “Why are you telling me this?”

Clark shook his head. “I just – hoped I’d one day see you that happy in real life.”

“I’ve had dreams too, Clark. Nightmares that have ripped their way through to reality. You saw them for yourself. The world counts on us to save it from evil, but when we become that evil, we have to save it from each other. That’s the purpose of the Trinity. An imbalance of that power could mean losing everything.”

“Being with Diana doesn’t mean–”

“I’m marrying Selina.”

Clark pressed his lips together. “Of course. I’m sure you’ll be very happy with her. I shouldn’t have suggested otherwise.”

Bruce inclined his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Clark's dream is a reference to Injustice Y3 #14. What Bruce talks about is a reference to Dark Nights: Metal.


End file.
